TriClue
by Ariamis Finchwing I
Summary: A shrill scream is heard in the giant mansion that happens to be strategically placed on Gunsmoke.' NOTE: I do not own 'the Classic Game of Clue' nor 'Trigun'
1. Default Chapter

A shrill scream is heard in the giant mansion that happens to be  
strategically placed on Gunsmoke.  
"I.I was over in the Master bedroom.trying to sleep and." Meryl explained  
through a veil of tears. ".And Vash was dead!" She finished and another  
wave of tears came.  
"Vash was going to look for Pudding, doughnuts, cigarettes and an ink  
cartridge for Meryl's typewriter.I was in the conservatory.then. he was.  
dead." Wolfwood explained, numb from shock and surprise, looking slightly  
to the tear filled Meryl.  
"I. I thought Mr. Vash w-would be ok while I talked to Mr. Wolfwood in the  
conservatory. and if anything happened, he had his gun." Milly managed to  
get out, busy trying to console the hysterical Meryl.  
Knives stood over the body of his late brother, emotionless, looking  
almost, happy, for a mere five seconds before he started busting out with  
hysterical laughter. "FINALLY! The fool has died! He had ruined my plans  
too often! Now he has what he deserved! OH I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN THE  
LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE DIED! Too bad I was in the Billiard Room at the  
time of murder," Knives yelled out in pride for the demise of his brother.  
Legato Bluesummers, (who emerged from the kitchen with a soda at hand)  
looked at the group, slightly confused, before walking up to Knives.  
"Master. what has just happened?" Legato asked, taking a short sip of the  
carbonated beverage.  
"Vash the legendary stampede is dead sir, a shrill scream was heard through  
out the giant mansion that happens to be strategically placed in the middle  
of Gunsmoke. We came here to find Vash dead. Good riddance, I say,"  
Dominique explained, appearing out of no where, gazing at the dead body as  
if it where a fine rug.  
Vash.dead? Yes. The evidence (or the body) rested on the floor of the  
mansion's library. Sure enough, Vash lay there, motionless, dead as a  
doornail.  
(("Unnngg. w-where am- ** clunk **." I SAID 'DEAD AS A DOORNAIL'! PLAY  
ALONG OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOU STAY DEAD! CONTRACT OR NOT!))  
((**Ahem**. anyway)) 6 suspects, all at different places while this crime  
was committed. Who could have done this dastardly deed? Could it have been  
Meryl? Tired of Vash's careless womanising amongst the many, many women of  
Gunsmoke? Or could it have been Nicholas D. Wolfwood? Who grew weary of  
Vash's infinite stupidity? Or perhaps it was Meryl? Who couldn't stand to  
call Vash 'Mr. Vash again? Knives, who hated his brother since.well.  
forever. Or Legato? Who was merely filling out orders from his beloved  
leader? Surely it couldn't have been Dominique the Cyclops, who had only  
been in about 2 Trigun Episodes in the entire frikkin' series!  
Only one way could be used to find out who had killed ((**Ahem** Maybe you  
have forgotten, ARIAMIS. if THAT'S your REAL NAME. that I'm NOT DEAD! I-  
*Stab* GLAAAKK!)) ((SHUT THE HELL UP CORPSE! And let me finish!))  
Only one way could be used to find out who killed the humanoid Typhoon, and  
that was of coarse *BUM BUM BAAAAAA* CLUE!  
((all 6 suspects in unison: "DOWAAAA??!" Wolfwood: "WE NEVER AGREED TO DO  
THAT!" Meryl: "You kidnapped us and told us that if we played a game we  
could go free unharmed, look, Vash is dead!" Vash: "Hard.ly." Milly:  
"You're a VERY bad person, Mr.Ms. FINCHWING!" Knives: ".this is ridiculous,  
I could have killed Vash myself, without having to play a stupid board  
game. Come now, Legato, Dominique, we're LEAVING!" Ari: "Where the hell do  
you think you're going, BUDDY?! You may have scared the SHIT outta me on  
the show, but you are forgetting, ONE, I'm the omnipotent voice that  
narrates all! And TWO.I have the keys out of here, right here in my pocket.  
so there. Legato: "*Munch* Hmm? What? What did I miss?" Dominique:  
"Well.it's not like I've got anything else to do, I'll stay," Milly: "I  
like games! Can I have pudding?" Ari: "If you finish the game." Milly:  
"Oh.ok." Wolfwood: "Where's my Punisher, I'm going to blast out of here-"  
Ari: "BWAHAHAAA! If you even MOVE the wrong way, MR. WOLFWOOD, I'll have  
your punisher, along with your beloved nicotine sticks, placed into a vat  
of SLOWLY COOKING BATTERY ACID, so, I suggest you SHUT UP, SIT DOWN AND  
PLAY!" Wolfwood: ".you wouldn't- hell, forget it," Ari: "look, my chapters  
are short and your guy's complaining and whining is using up my screen,  
besides, the readers want to read WHO KILLED VASH!" Vash: ". I would state  
my well being, but knowing you, you'd probably- *bang*" Ari: *holds monkey  
wrench in hand* Ahehehehe, um *hides Monkey wrench behind back*. he was  
dead when I got here? AND YOU WILL ALL SUFFER HIS CURSED FATE IF YOU QUIT  
THE GAME EARLY! A'right? DEAL!?" all 6 suspects in unison: "DEAL!"))  
((*Ahem*))  
The suspects collected where Vash's body lay. On the table, lay several  
weapons that could have killed Vash. A monkey wrench, a revolver, a noose,  
a candlestick, a dagger, and a handful of confetti  
((Vash: "EXCUSE ME?! I REFUSE TO BE KILLED BY CONFETTI!" Ari: "SHUT THE  
HELL UP!" *strangles Vash w/ noose* I forgot what the other weapon  
was.besides, confetti is so inexplicable, it's cool!. besides, it was  
either that or a glow stick. DO YOU WISH TO BE BLUDGEONED WITH A FRIGGIN'  
GLOW STICK?!?! I think NOT!"))  
Each suspect was given a weapon at the time of the crime. Meryl was given  
the heavy monkey wrench, which could have bludgeoned Vash. Milly was given  
a noose, which she made in knitting class  
((Milly: "But. Mr. . Ms. Finchwing. I don't like-" Ari: "grrr. O_-*" Milly:  
".Right."))  
Nicholas D. Wolfwood was given a candlestick, when he was off in the dark  
conservatory. to help him see better.  
Dominique had her gun, which she had *ahem* 'Borrowed' from her Boss,  
Knives.  
((Knives: "THAT'S WHERE IT WHENT!" Ari: "SHUT THE FRIGGIN' HELL UP!"))  
Legato was given the dagger, which he was using to cut open oranges while  
he snacked happily on delicious foods from the kitchen.  
And Knives was given the handful of confetti-  
((Knives: "CONFETTI?! I WON'T STAND FOR IT?! WHY DON'T I AQUIRE A GUN?! OR  
A BOMB?!" Ari: ". Good question, Knives. But think about it, think of ALL  
the things you did with a gun. and what you WOULD do with a bomb! You'd  
ruin the game!" Knives: ".Nooo. I wouldn't." Ari: "Besides, my genocidal  
friend, you are probably the most CREATIVE KILLER on all of Gunsmoke, the  
UNIVERSE maybe! I have faith in you, Knives, that if you DID kill your  
brother, you would figure out how to kill him, even WITH confetti, you  
creative kook, you," Knives: "Well. I suppose you are correct in that  
accusation, I COULD kill you with ANYTHING. BWAHAHAAAA!" Ari: "um. yeah.  
just play the game, ok?" Knives: "( Agreed," Ari: "Good,")) 


	2. FIND THE BODY!

**  
  
Now, that was to be established was WHERE Vash was killed. His body could have been moved, or he could have been killed there, but highly doubted.  
  
"Vash would NEVER go into a library, unless there was an offer of free doughnuts or girls, from what I know.err. KNEW of him," Wolfwood explained.  
  
"And I also heard the shriek somewhere near the middle of the mansion, around the bathroom area." Milly finished.  
  
((Vash: "WA-a-A-a-AIT! I REFUSE to be killed with my pants down. LITTERALLY!" Ari: "*glares evilly at Vash and holds up fist* Sit down and SHUD-DUP!" Vash: ".ok."))  
  
"No. He couldn't have been in the bathroom, the bedroom is closer to there and I would have heard him scream like a girl," Meryl established.  
  
((Vash: "AHA! I KNEW I-.-_- . after this game. I'm going to have a little TALK with Meryl. don't they know I'm alive?!" Ari: "No. you're with me at the moment in time, and I'm the OMNIPOTENT NARRATOR! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Vash: ".I'm hungry," Ari: "-_-*"))  
  
"I believe I heard the scream over near the billiard room, master, so I-" Legato began before the OMNIPOTENT NARRATOR busted in.  
  
((Ari: "Um. Legato. I KNOW you are Knives' little bitch but-" Legato: "I'm no ones' 'Bitch' Mind you, where are you so that I may properly dispose of you!" Ari: "HA! You don't know! Look, if you don't stop calling Knives 'master' next Trigun Fanfic I make YOU be my slave!" Legato: "You don't have the ability to do so, I can control your mind," Ari: "Hey, Legato, remember that Trigun episode where Vash shot your face off? Yeah, I brought you back to do this fanfic not to mention I was stalking you and Vicious BUT THAT'S NOT THE CASE AT THE MOMENT! And believe me, my psychic blue- haired Malchik gay, I CAN EASILY CHANGE THIS FANFIC SO THAT YOU DIE INSTEAD OF VASH!" Vash: "DO IT! SAVE ME!" Legato: "Fine, I shall finish this little game of yours without uttering a word of Knives being my master," Ari: "I knew you'd come around, By the way, I already made that fanfic, sorry! It's just NOW you should be wary that I CAN publish it on this site!" Legato: "WAIT! You already made it?! DISPOSE OF IT IMEDIATELY! OR I'LL-" Ari: "BACK TO THE FANFIC!" Legato: "DON'T CHANGE THE-"))  
  
"Yes, Legato, It COULD have finally destroyed my brother, but-" Knives began.  
  
"But Vash was no where near the Billiard room at the time! HA! I know why!" Dominique exclaimed.  
  
"Why? Because you killed him? You stupid bitch!" Wolfwood blurted out.  
  
((Ari: "Wolfwood, don't call her a bitch, I KNOW she's the mega-bitch from hell, but it's not apart of your script," Dominique: "Hey! I've been playing this game co-operatively, and now you're calling me a mega-bitch from hell?! Ari: "*ponders* hmm, yeah, I am," Wolfwood: "Sorry, it's just that I'M GOING THROUGH WIDTHDRAWL!" Ari: "*shakes head* my god, what where you thinking when you started smoking? And became a priest? And-" Wolfwood: "OK! Ok! Jesus Christ!" Ari: "AH-AH-AH! Don't use the lord's name in vain!" Wolfwood: "Whatever. Jeezie Creezie-" Ari: "Don't call him Jeezie Creezie!" Wolfwood: "When did you turn to Mr., Ms., whatever the hell you are, Puritan?" Ari: "When you stopped smoking," Wolfwood: "But I-" Ari: " BACK TO THE GAME!" Wolfwood: "You like inter-"))  
  
"How do you know, Cyclops?" Knives asked.  
  
"Look, a trail in the carpet, Vash was dragged here from-" Dominique explained as she followed the carpet trail to the basement. "The basement," Dominique finished proudly.  
  
The other suspects looked around in confusion and awe.  
  
And then Dominique ran up to Ariamis' brother and began to hug and kiss him and love him, whispering happy things into his ear.  
  
"Yes, I AM quite the athlete," he said in his manly voice, causing Dominique, Milly and Merrill to swoon to their knees. "Oh! He's SOOOOOOO DREEEAAAMMYYY! *Faints*" they said in unison. And then-  
  
((Ari: "GERROF YOU LITTLE MONKEY! Damn it! Sorry mates, I see you have met my brother. Sorry Dominique, Meryl, Milly, for his insatiable love for you three," Milly/Meryl/Dominique: "-_e* you ARE going to change that. right?" Ari: "BLOODY HELL! Are you KIDDING! That's funny as hell! I'm keeping it! STORY TIME!" Wolfwood: "Ari's annoying, aren't they?" Ari: "*glares evilly*"))  
  
So Vash was killed in the basement, that was established. Now, what killed him? Was it Milly and her noose that strangled Vash? Or was it Meryl and the monkey wrench that could have bashed his.well. what brains Vash HAD, that killed him? Or was it Wolfwood and the candlestick that could have knocked him out? Was it Dominique's gun that shot a hole in Vash? Or maybe Legato who stabbed him with a citrus stained dagger? Or maybe *snicker* Knives and his *giggle* HANDFUL OF CONFETTI?!  
  
((Knives: "-_- . You gave me the confetti, WITCH!" Ari: "Aww, Remember what I said about your genius?" Knives: "Still. it's rediculous."))  
  
We will find this out later, on TRI-CLUE! 


End file.
